Normal Grief vs Masked/ Delayed/& Prolonged Grief

When I was eleven my father died. I didn’t cry when my aunt broke the news to me, nor did I cry during the funeral. It wasn’t until I was in my mid 30s that I finally broke down and cried over my father’s death. However it wasn’t without consequences. One could even point out that my clinical depression (atypical) & trichotillomania, more than likely stemmed from what is referred to as Masked Grief.

Then there’s Delayed Grief.

Unlike delayed or masked grief, sufferers of Prolonged Grief Disorder “deal” with the loss head on, but not in the most healthy way. A great example of this may be the main character of the television series, Monk.

In this series, Adrian Monk, has a hard time letting go of his deceased wife, Trudy. Even after over 9 years, he refuses to take off his wedding ring, he keeps his late wife’s office intact (while still paying rent for it), he refuses to date, his coffee table is kept the same angle his wife would have it when she rested her feet on it, and much more. His loss of his wife has even magnified his OCD to the point where he has to see a shrink. There are even scenes where he hallucinates and have full conversations with Trudy.

Although the symptoms may not be as exact as those I’ve just stated, below are signs of one who may be suffering from prolonged grief disorder:

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Normal grief is defined as having 5 stages:

1. Denial & Isolation

2. Anger

3. Bargaining (“if only..”)

4. Depression

5. Acceptance

It is not always necessarily in the same order for everyone nor do everyone go tthrough all five.

As if grief alone isn’t difficult enough to deal with, grieving isnt as always cut & dry. In fact, there are various other types of grief that many people may not even be aware that they or someone they know may be dealing with.



Coping with Grief

Below are a few resources for coping with a loss:

How to deal with Grief when someone you love dies (Video)

1-800-273-8255

It is always recommended to speak with a professional or at least someone you can confide if you’re having thoughts of suicide or feelings of hopelessness .

Bereavement Groups and Online Resources



(Update: 10/28/19)

Rest in Power grandma


Writer’s Depression is REAL

We’ve all heard or read how the infamous Sylvia Plath stuck her head in an oven and committted suicide at the young age of thirty. (If you haven’t, click here) Plath suffered from clinical depression. We’ve also heard about other writers and creatives who suffer from depression. Many writers forget or may not even be aware that we’re more prone to writer’s depression.

My aim in blogging about this today is to ease and help cope with my own depressive state at this very moment.

Out of all creatives, those who write are more prone than any other type of creatives.

 

 

If you’re not a writer but know someone who is, check in on them from time to time. Even if they seem happy. A mental health check is pertinent to that writer because we tend to isolate ourselve for hours to day to weeks or months when creating. We’re also our own worse critic and even the slightest bad review on our work can set off doubt and self-loathing within ourself. 

The best advice I’ve ever received as a writer is to write in a public setting around other people, such as a library.

This helps with the isolation aspect of it. I personally tried this and agree that this does help with feeling isolated as well as my overeating.

So check on your fellow creatives..especially our young and teen writers.

If you or anyone you know are having thoughts of suidicide, there is help:

https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

You call or chat with someone using the above link.

Deaf or hard of hearing? tel:1-800-799-4889


Recommended read:

Amazon.com Review

In 1985 William Styron fell victim to a crippling and almost suicidal depression, the same illness that took the lives of Randall Jarrell, Primo Levi and Virginia Woolf. That Styron survived his descent into madness is something of a miracle. That he manages to convey its tortuous progression and his eventual recovery with such candor and precision makes Darkness Visible a rare feat of literature, a book that will arouse a shock of recognition even in those readers who have been spared the suffering it describes


This blog post is dedicated to the late Haitian blogger and writer, Kreyolicious.


References:
https://thoughtcatalog.com/cody-delistraty/2014/03/the-neurological-similarities-between-successful-writers-and-the-mentally-ill/

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