Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD)

NARCISS

Narcissistic personality disorder is a subject or disorderI never really wanted to blog or research. Moreso than those with Borderline Personality Disorder, Narcissistic personality disorder are disliked and hated by many ex-lovers. However, since I have released a new book  where the main character is suspected of having traits of NPD (it is never confirmed or denied in the book), I wanted to delve a little in the world of narcissists. 

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But first, a little self-promotion of the book:

The Best Thing

ebook

Paperback

TBTPAPERBACK (2)

“I’M THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED to Hope Richardson. She was Hope Meyers before we married five months ago. Up until meeting me, my wife admitted that she’d given up on finding a good man.”
Habitual cheater , Xavier Richardson, likes his women naive, subservient, and plus-size. Hope Richardson, his wife of five months is all of the above in addition to being a homebody who’s self-conscious about her weight; something Xavier takes full advantage of. After attending her husband’s class reunion, Hope forms a friendship with socialite and social media influencer, Vivica Love, who’s happens to be an old high school nemesis of Xavier’s. As a result, Hope’s self-esteem flourishes and is evident in an inner and outer transformation, something her husband isn’t too supportive of. When one of Xavier’s past affairs comes back to haunt him, he’s forced to face his demons and insecurities in a fight to repair his marriage.

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Image result for narcissism


 

Gaslighting

Speak to those in relationships with narcissist and i’m pretty sure they’ll mention the term gaslighting. Like the main character in my book, narcissist tend to gaslight, or manipulate, others.

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Have you or anyone you know ever encountered a narcissist? Have you been diagnosed with NPD? Let me know in the comments below.

Physician-Assisted Suicides

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What is Physician Assisted Suicide?

The choice and views of physician-assisted suicide versus the natural course of death for terminally-ill patients have been a long-debated and controversial matter. There are those who prefer the widely-accepted and traditional route of hospice palliative care, and then there are some who believe in the right of choosing euthanasia. Simply put, euthanasia is the practice of intentional suicide with the aid of a physician. These physicians can either supply a terminally-ill patient with a prescription for the life-terminating medication , or administer the drugs themselves. Euthanasia allows the patient to have more say over when and how to end their life.

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The Great Debate

As with any controversial debate, there are valid contrasting ethical and moral concerns on assisted suicide. Not surprisingly, most religious organizations view the act as immoral and an act against God. More than the fact that they consider the act a sin, are other concerns. The Evangelical Lutheran Church in America, for example, predicts a possible increase of mishandling for those who are most susceptible, such as the elderly, the poor, minorities and the disabled.

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Medical organizations and professionals who oppose believe that physician-assisted suicide would be in paradox of a physician’s Hippocratic oath not to harm patients as a trusted healer and medical advisor. Like the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America, The American Medical Association also have concern for our vulnerable members or society. They fear providers may possibly be more inclined to suggest assisted suicide instead of providing whatever support needed to ease the transition. There are apprehensions within the medical community about patients being protected from corrupt doctors. The belief is that assisted suicide would pose a high ethical risk for the future, much like the opposition of eugenics.

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In addition are concerns that some patients may opt in assisted-suicide for reasons unrelated to pain and suffering, such as guilt, being coerced, or feeling as if they’re a burden to their loved ones.

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Safeguards

In contrast, those who do support assisted suicide believe that those in their last days should have the right to die in accordance with their own wishes. As far as shady or unethical doctors, many states that have legalized the practice have safeguards in place to prevent corruption. For example, in Oregon, not only must the request be voluntary, but it also requires two witnesses who can attest that it’s voluntary. In addition, the patient has to be the one to administer the drug. In a Colorado proposal, the state of the patient’s mental health during the request would be reviewed by a mental health professional if there is reason to believe that patient is depressed or not mentally sound. Two physicians would also have to confirm the terminal illness.


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My Personal Thoughts on P.A.S

The decision of an end of life choice has always been a controversial subject matter and should remain so. The legalities, ethical, and morality of the issue should always be held under a microscope to be certain that society protects the vulnerable. Those who want the option to decide their final months of life should have that freedom, within strict regulation. Only those who are in this dilemma or have witnessed the pain and suffering of a loved one can truly speak on the significance of respecting and having an end-of-life choice. As far as everyone else, the moral and ethical obligation to keep this practice from taking a turn for the worst in the future relies on our due-diligence in keeping provisions in place.

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Check out the video below for an unbiased and equally fair view on the matter


Other related video(s):


Sources:
deathwithdignity.org/learn/access/.
http://www.government.nl/topics/euthanasia/euthanasia-assisted-suicide-and-non-resuscitation-on-request
vitas.com/hospice-and-palliative-care-basics/about-hospice-care/hospice-care-myths-and-facts/
“Religious Perspectives on Euthanasia and Physician-Assisted Suicide (PAS) – Euthanasia – ProCon.org.” Euthanasia, euthanasia.procon.org/religious-perspectives-on-euthanasia-and-physician-assisted-suicide-pas/.
euthanasia.procon.org/questions/should-euthanasia-or-physician-assisted-suicide-be-legal/
‌ academic.oup.com/jlb/article/5/2/436/4996523
time.com/4572377/dc-council-approves-death-with-dignity/.
dailycamera.com/2016/10/25/editorial-death-with-dignity-is-about-personal-liberty/.

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Health Benefits of HUGS

man and woman holding free hugs signage

Photo by Alexander Daoud on Pexels.com

Recently my daughter had a stressful week. During that time, I noticed that she asked me for more hugs, as well as hugged her cat and stuffed animals more. Hugging seemed to have a healthy effect on her. Which led me to researching about this everyday physical contact that we take for granted.

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The benefits aren’t limited to just children & babies

I remember reading that hugging is great for self-care and help boost high vibratons. Well, it turns out that there are more health benefits to hugging than people even know.

Check out the video below to learn more about the benefits of hugs for adults and children.

the-simple-act-of-hugging

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20-Second Rule

Keep in mind that it takes atleast 20 seconds to reap the healing benefits, according to studies.

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BEWARE

Hugging should only be acted upon with consent. Mainly with people you know. Some people have phobias about touching or aren’t as comfortable with the idea.


In Conclusion:

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Nomophobia (Phone Addiction)

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If you’ve read my scifi book, Negus, you may have remembered a short story about aliens secretly conducting research on earthlings. In the below passage, the aliens provide send communication back home about the use of mobile phones on Earth. Check out the excerpt below:

Have the technologists yet figured out what the rectangular objects are in the photograph?

We are working on finding a way to have one of these devices in our possession. That feat in itself has proved to be quite the task as these devices seem to always be in the clutches of these beings. Perhaps it is of some sort of lifeline? We are eager to learn from our expert technologists on what purpose these devices serve these beings.

The device is always a short distance away. It must be a lifeline as we have both seen the beings in panic when the device is missing. This reason alone makes it a difficult task in obtaining the device for research. 


Definition of nomophobia

fear of being without access to a working cell phone 
-Webster’s Dictionary

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If you’re like 66% of Americans, you may suffer from nomophobia. This year you may want to add descreasing phone usage to your list of new year resolutions.  Execept unlike you’re other resolutions, stick to it.

There are those that have it so bad, that they develop

ringxiety

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or

Phantom Vibration Syndrome,

See the source image


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Image result for phone addiction facts"

 


Breaking Your Phone Addiction:

This year, think about reducing your phone usage and/or phone addiction. Interact with those in front of you, find a hobby, learn a new skill, read more, etc. Disconnect from the matrix and explore the world around you without posting it to social media

Tips:

Get an alarm clock instead of using your phone

Turn off notifications

Put your phone away while eating, watching television, or anything else.  Be present.

Stop taking your phone in the bathroom with you. Opt for leaving a couple of magazines in there instead.

Check out these videos for more helpful tips:


References:
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/nomophobia
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/rewired-the-psychology-technology/201305/phantom-pocket-vibration-syndrome
http://anewdomain.net/smartphone-addiction-stats-new-survey-infographic/

Interesting Related Video(s)

Codependent Relationships

In codependent relationships, you lose yourself in the other person and become needy. People like this usually feel like they HAVE to be in a relationship with someone or at least “talking” to someone. Experts say this sometimes stem from abandonment in childhood or stem from a child taking on a role of the parent.
It’s hard to leave, break up, or make a clean break. You end up breaking up and getting back together over and over again, finding it difficult to break the cycle.

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It is especially complex and harder to deal with when or if theres substance abuse or alcoholism involved on top of the low self-esteem or emotional issues.

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There are people that I know right now that are in codependent relationships and it has become their norm. They don’t even realize it’s toxic. Keep in mind that what I experience and what others exeperience in a codependent relationship can be different. Some also receive emotional abuse or physical abuse as well.

For more information on codependent relationships check out:

Are You in a Codependent Relationship? (Article)

6 Signs of a Codependent Relationship


The Dunning-Kruger Effect

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The Dunning-Kruger Effect: cognitive bias in which people believe that they are smarter and more capable than they really are.
The crazy thing about this is that, while we may know someone who this describes, we may be suffering from The Dunning-Kruger Effect and may not even recognize it.
This is something I briefly mentioned in bullet 1 in a previous post: 11 Things Ive Learned the Hard Way About Being an Indie Author & Finding Your Purpose/Gift

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As stated at the end of the video right above, because of the internet at our disposal, there are many people posing as experts online just because they’ve googled a topic. The Dunning-Kruger Effect is one reason why I made sure to clarify on my About Page that I am NOTan expert or mental health professional. I enjoy doing research and compiling the most informational resources into one blog so that others may learn, along with me.

So what do you think? Do you know anyone who falls into the The Dunning-Kruger Effect description? Do you?


Reference(s):
https://www.verywellmind.com/an-overview-of-the-dunning-kruger-effect-4160740

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Apotemnophilia/Body Integrity Identity Dysphoria (BIID)-The Desire to be Amputated

This post will be mainly videos from the views of those suffering with

APOTEMNOPHILIA

also known as

BODY INTEGRITY IDENTITY DYSPHORIA (BIID)

or even

BODY IDENTITY DYSPHORIA (BID)


Definition:

In short, BIID is the overwhelming desire to be disabled, which may or may not include a desire of being amputated. Some wish to be paralyzed and even blind. People who suffer from this feel a huge discomfort with being able-bodied and sometimes go through extreme measures to have their wishes come to fruition. People suffering with BIID are said to have had their desire starting from adolescence.

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The condition is said to be related to a condition called:

Somatoparaphrenia

which is said to be a delusion where someone denies ownership of their own limbs.


MY TIN FOIL HAT THEORY

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So I know that this is a mental illness. However, as a scifi writer and someone who is very open-minded, I believe that it’s possible that these people may have suffered some form of disability in their previous lives (past lives).

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Now go ahead an grab some popcorn before getting into these videos. As you will soon discover, BIID/BID is a truly interesting condition. Dont forget about what I’ve said about my past-life theory while you watch! 🙂

Check out the video below of a woman who purposely blinded herself because she’s always felt she should have been born blind.

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Sources:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_integrity_dysphoria
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Somatoparaphrenia
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Past_life_regression

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Aphantasia (inability to visualize)

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I wanted to briefly touch on a condition that I recently learned about this weekend. It’s called

APHANTASIA

and it’s basically the inability to imagine or visualize. Of course, as an author and an avid reader, this caught my attention and prompted me to further look into this.

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This condition may also be a reason why some folks just don’t like to read. As a bookworm, and a writer of fiction I must admit this is kind of shocking and a little heartbreaking. As stated in the video, this would also be a reason why some do not do well with guided meditations.

(EDIT: I’ve gotten alot of feedback on my instagram (@author.wenda) over this post from people who have Aphantasia. Particulary the part about reading. Apparently there alot of folks with Aphanstasia who are bookworms and even authors. Go figure! There may also be a specturm as well.)

See the source image

See the source image

What do you think about aphantasia? Do you or someone you know have this condition? Have you heard of this condition before? Let me know in the comments below.


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Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD)

According to studies, about 1 in 50 Americans suffer from Body Dysmorphic Disorder (also known as BDD or Body Dysmorphia). The thing about BDD is it’s important to be knowledgable about the difference between normal insecurities and BDD.


So then, what exactly is

Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD)?

Check out the video below by Dr. Tracey Marks


SYMPTOMS

symptoms

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TREATMENT

Cognitive Behavorial Therapy (individual or group)

Medication (serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SRIs)


*Sources:
https://bdd.iocdf.org/professionals/prevalence/
https://www.medicinenet.com/body_dysmorphic_disorder/article.htm
https://bdd.iocdf.org/about-bdd/how-is-bdd-treated/

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Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)

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You may not be aware of the known links between sunlight and mental health. Not only does the sun help produce vitamin D, but it’s beneficial to our brain’s seratonin levels, which helps boost moods. This is especially important because a low level of seratonin can equal depression. (See Benefits of Sunlight)

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With that being said, sunlight or lack thereof is associated with Seasonal Affective Disorder, also known as, Seasonal Depression or SAD. It affects over

3 million Americans a year

and can trigger depression and mood disorders.


What is SAD?

SAD

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symptoms include:

Irritability

Sadness/depression

Change of appetite

Excessive sleep/ insomnia

Isolation

Loss of interest

Feelings of hopelessness


While some people thrive during the summer and are affected by SAD during the winter, there are those who suffer from the opposite.

Seasonal Depression can also occur during the summer

Although less common, this is often referred to as reverse Seasonal Affective Disorder, onset SAD, or Summer Depression

and affects

1 out of 10 people.

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Research shows that southern states of the US are affected more by reverse SAD than nothern states. This may be due to high heat temperature, which can be uncomfortable and agitating.

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TREATMENT

(FOR SAD & ONSET SAD)

  • Light Therapy:

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Image result for seasonal affective disorder treatment lights

  • Antidepressants and Psychotherapy (talk therapy)

You can find these on Amazon or lightingandceilingfans.com

See Perfect Sunny Autumn Day for Walking, & the Benefits


Sources:
https://www.healthline.com/health/depression/benefits-sunlight
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/seasonal-affective-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20364651
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/brain-babble/201501/reverse-seasonal-affective-disorder-sad-in-the-summer
https://thatoregonlife.com/2017/10/natural-remedies-sad-seasonal-affective-disorder/
https://www.yogajournal.com/lifestyle/lighten-2

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Obsessive Love Disorder (O.L.D.)

If you’ve never watched the Netflix Original series, You, I’d suggest you check it out if you’re into psychological thrillers.

The series follow a seemingly friendly guy name Joe Goldberg who meets this cute young woman, Guinevere Beck aka “Beck” , at a bookshop where he works. As the series goes on, viewers discover just how obsessed Joe is with Beck.

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The series is based on a novel by Caroline Kepnes of the same name.

Book cover of Kepnes's 2014 novel

Disclaimer: I am not a mental health professional. Therefore I cannot diagnose anyone. However, based on the characteristics and actions of Joe Goldberg, there’s a slight chance that he would have been diagnosed with Obessive Love Disorder, or maybe not. However the series is awesome and I thought it’d make a great segue.


So what exactly is OLD?

Unlike erotomania, which is an individual’s paranoid delusion of someone else (most times a celeb or someone theyve never met) being infatuated with them, the person being obsessed over are alive, real, and someone they may even be romantically involved with However, both erotomania and OLD are considered attachment disorders. ( Borderline Personality Disorder is also another attachment disorder)


Symptoms of OLD:

  • Posessiveness/Controlling behavior

  • Overwhelming attraction to one person

  • Obsessive fanatasies about the person

  • Inability to accept rejection

  • Popping up/stalking

  • Extreme jealousy

  • Low self-esteem

  • Making/drawing images of the person or obsessive thoughts

  • Going out their way to spending an excessive amount with the other person

  • Desire to “protect” the person


DANGERS

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I’ve recently published a nouvella where O.L.D. is mentioned just to bring some awareness to the disorder. In the story, one of the characters becomes obsesseed with a coworker.

You can check it out below:

Click here to purchase or hear a sample of the audiobook.


Treatment

PSYCHOTHERAPY- As always, seeking a licensed mental health professional is highly recommended. Medication may be prescribed, as OLD is often a disorder attached to other underlining mental illnesses.


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Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)

Alas, the one post I’ve been dragging my feet on posting about

BPD

(also known as Emotional Dysregulation Disorder)

(Not to be confused with Bipolar Disorder, which is NOT a personality disorder. Bipolar disorder is a mood disorder.)

I want to apologize in advance on the multiple videos posted below. I wanted to include as many educational resources and references about the topic at hand.


What exactly is Borderline Personality Disoder?

I recommend listening to at least the first 10 minutes of the below video. Out of all the videos, I ‘ve found that Dr Ramani breaks down the traits and characteristics the best.

It is important to remember that not everyone suffering from BPD have the same characteristics or traits, as there is a spectrum. Not every individual with this disorder is “crazy”, violent, and obsessive as portrayed in media. Therefore not everyone with BPD are exactly alike. Also, only FIVE of the 9 criteria must be met to be diagnosed, which means not all suffering with BPD are suicidal or etc.

As always, it is recommended to not self-diagnose. Please seek a professional for a proper diagnosis.

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The Stigma of BPD

1. STIGMA ONLINE:

Borderline folks catch a lot of flack online. Just look through the many videos and comments on YouTube from disgruntled exes.

Men and women with BPD are often thought of as toxic, manipulative, and attention-seeking by some, when in fact, those with BPD feel love intensely and most have a fear of abandonment. Alot of times theyfeel a great sense of guilt whenever they do cause disruption. I wil admit that it does take a very patient person to be able to involve themselves romantically with someone with BPD. Of course this also depends on where the person with BPD falls on the spectrum and the traits they possess, as not all individuals are the same.

2. STIGMA IN HEALTHCARE SETTINGS

And if that isn’t bad enough, people with BPD are also discriminated against by mental health professionals

This is because they (people with BPD) are one of the hardest to treat because the disorder often misunderstood. In fact, not all therapist are willing to treat or understand enough about BPD. Those with BPD are often dropped as patients (see The Stigma Associated With Borderline Personality Disorder and Why Do Therapists Stigmatize People with Borderline? )

3. STIGMA IN HOLLYWOOD/FILMS

I’ve come to notice that alot of films based on a character with BPD are often exaggerated and doesn’t help the stigma already attached with BPD.

Such as:

Single White Female

Welcome to Me

A Thin Line Between Love & Hate

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend

As stated, not all individuals with the disorder have the same traits. Many cannot work and receive disability, while others are high-functioning.

The lack of knowledge is one reason why I recently published a fictional short story of a woman dating while secretly dealing with BPD. The story was written to help education and bring awareness.

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(Click here to hear a sample of the audiobook)


Common BPD jargon:

SPLITTING:

when someone sees someone as all good or all bad and no in between. Its the reason why people with BPD tend to idealize others or demonize other people out of the slightest of things.

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“FP”: FAVORITE PERSON

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Image result for bpd favorite person


TREATMENT

1. PSYCHOTHERAPY (Talk Therapy).….Seeking a mental health professional is recommended. Most professionals will suggest group therapy with others with BPD. Individual therapy is often long-term.

2. MEDICATION.....Depending on the severity/circumstances, medication can also be prescribed for emotion regulation.

3. AGING/TIME....For some, BPD may not a life-long disorder. Some are only affected for just several years, with the symptoms decreasing in intensity as they get older. The disorder mostly affects young women, but there are older men and women who are affected.

4. DBT Workbook (Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook). DBT is considered one of the most effective methods for treating BPD. Some professionals use it for group therapy but the workbooks is also recommended for individual use and can be found at online retail stores like Amazon.


CONCLUSION

There is so much more that can be said about BPD that i’m sure was missed in this post such as mood swings, impulsiveness, dissociation, and etc.

If you or someone you know may be suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder, the best thing you can do is research. There are also online support groups on Facebook for not only those with BPD, but for loved ones of those with BPD, as loved ones are also often greatly affected. Some have admitted that being around those with BPD is like always walking on eggshells.

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Perfect Sunny Autumn Day for Walking, & the Benefits

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So today I decided to talk a walk outside in this 73 degree weather (im in Florida). It felt great. I’ve always enjoyed jogging outside. My original plan was to use the treadmills at the fitness center in my building, but once I seen how beautiful it was outside and how perfect the cool to warmth ratio was, I opted to stay outdoors. I can use the fitness center once it gets cold.

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I’ll keep this short because I have alot of writing to do. I’m currently working on my latest book titled, The Other Woman.

theotherwoman10.13.19


I just wanted to share some interesting photos i’ve taken this morning . I also have some really interesting facts about the health benefits of sunlight and walking that you definitely wanna check out below.

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Seen this cute lil decal on someone’s car lol

A neighbor’s cute Halloween lawn decorations

The back of my shirt afterwards (“back fat”:) )

The saran wrap I’d wrapped around my waist before jogging, denched in sweat

I used the Jog Tracker app to track my hour-long walk.

See the videos below for the benefits of sunlight and daily walking :


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Writer’s Depression is REAL

We’ve all heard or read how the infamous Sylvia Plath stuck her head in an oven and committted suicide at the young age of thirty. (If you haven’t, click here) Plath suffered from clinical depression. We’ve also heard about other writers and creatives who suffer from depression. Many writers forget or may not even be aware that we’re more prone to writer’s depression.

My aim in blogging about this today is to ease and help cope with my own depressive state at this very moment.

Out of all creatives, those who write are more prone than any other type of creatives.

 

 

If you’re not a writer but know someone who is, check in on them from time to time. Even if they seem happy. A mental health check is pertinent to that writer because we tend to isolate ourselve for hours to day to weeks or months when creating. We’re also our own worse critic and even the slightest bad review on our work can set off doubt and self-loathing within ourself. 

The best advice I’ve ever received as a writer is to write in a public setting around other people, such as a library.

This helps with the isolation aspect of it. I personally tried this and agree that this does help with feeling isolated as well as my overeating.

So check on your fellow creatives..especially our young and teen writers.

If you or anyone you know are having thoughts of suidicide, there is help:

https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

You call or chat with someone using the above link.

Deaf or hard of hearing? tel:1-800-799-4889


Recommended read:

Amazon.com Review

In 1985 William Styron fell victim to a crippling and almost suicidal depression, the same illness that took the lives of Randall Jarrell, Primo Levi and Virginia Woolf. That Styron survived his descent into madness is something of a miracle. That he manages to convey its tortuous progression and his eventual recovery with such candor and precision makes Darkness Visible a rare feat of literature, a book that will arouse a shock of recognition even in those readers who have been spared the suffering it describes


This blog post is dedicated to the late Haitian blogger and writer, Kreyolicious.


References:
https://thoughtcatalog.com/cody-delistraty/2014/03/the-neurological-similarities-between-successful-writers-and-the-mentally-ill/

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Mental Health Break

It’s important to slow down once in a while and just be still and reflect. Whether it’s meditation, yoga, napping, journaling, reading, and even coloring, put away all of the distracting technology for a minute and just be.

A lot of time we surpress toxic habits or worrying thoughts and they manifest in a different way. For me it’s binge eating and also trichotillmania, which is the impulse of pulling out one’s hair.

Smoking, excessive drinking,frivolous spending, and promiscuity may also be ways in which stress manifests itself.

Shut off all technnology, light some incense, and just be still. I recommend meditation.

For deeper issues, seeking a mental health professional is highly advised.

Your employer or insurance may cover therapy. Also, there are government programs that assist in free or low-cost therapy.

Exercise is also a great way to relieve stress and is a method I have been using, albeit not consistently. Also cooking more, instead of eating out, is another way for me to enjoy being in the moment and perfect my cooking skills.

Kicking back with friends to let your hair down is also important as isolation can often lead to depression. Having someone to talk to is encouraged rather than staying alone with your thoughts.

Whatever it is you enjoy or prefer…do it and do it often.

You deserve it.


Check out Me Time Meditation and Me Time Bedtime Journaling by clicking here